Thursday, 5 July 2018

The Youth & Us: Failed Parenting Strategies

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Claimer: This post goes first to the parents and guardians in the audience then to my fellow youth. 

A man once coined a quote saying 'A good leader isn't responsible for the results but rather, responsible for the people who are responsible for the results.'  This is the exact opposite of what we have everywhere today.

I am passionate about this because I believe that good leadership is the answer to the magnitude of problems in our lives. I envision living in a world where such qualities are taught to the youth not in their schools or madrasas, but in their very homes. And I believe that it is their right upon their guardians and parents to teach them these qualities by first learning them and then showing them through actions, and guiding them through their words.

But there is a problem, "the millennial problem" as vividly termed. Millennials are a generation born from about 1982 onwards, inclusive of most of you here 😏, and they are known with a set of qualities they poses.

Elderlies have agreed that millennials are entitled and rebellious, unfocused, lazy, can't keep a job among other grim qualities. Well, it is true, I mean, yeah... But no one has gone further to find out why-- loosing points for Empathy y'all, step into them shoes.

And after discovering that why, they are put into four main categories; failed parenting strategies, technology, impatience and environment. But for convenience, we're only going to go through the first 'why' for this post. 

Failed parenting strategies unfortunately, came by because of the love of parents to their children. Most parents went through hell building their wealth and status and thus didn't want their kids to experience such pain. That's why up to date, it's become very hard to marry; simply because the kids are princesses and princes to their parents.

What built this up is parents telling their kids (ya'ani us) that they are special, can have anything just because they want it and in learning institutions, made sure the teachers give a pass to their kids whilst not laying their hands on them. 

An extension of this is the Participation Medal; medal or price given for coming in last-- detrimental to the child since it affirms how bad they are in that competition.

So when the kids graduate and get in to their first jobs, in an instant, they realize that they are not special, can't get anything just because they want it, get nothing for coming in last and their moms can't get them a promotion. 

So in an instant, their whole self image is shattered and turned on its head. And so we have this whole generation that is growing up with low self esteem.

And the boggling part is that, because they grew up in a Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat world, they are soo good at putting filters on things. Ya'ani they are experts at curating how we see them; so much so that they can tell the elderly what to do and what life is and how to go about it. Now who older than who here?😕

But the reality is, they don't know where they are coming from, where they are going. And even when they are offered a listening ear, it is assumed that they have the courage to walk through that door and open up. But the don't.

Just like someone who is frugal and always uses toothpaste and other things to the last drop, we know that they grew up in hardship and consumed in rations; their environment influenced their behaviour; is the same thing with millennials and social media influence. 

Fact of the matter is that they are just youth who are still discovering their way; not assertive know it all's. It's just that society and environment doesn't allow them to breakdown.

Until the time we understand this and the other three "whys", and listen to them in a way of wanting to understand them, that is when we can build strong leaders who carry the potential to change our world. 

But first, we have to be good leaders to them. We have to empathize. Because even though they are the leaders of tomorrow, we are the leaders of Today. So let us lead.

Fun fact: lead them in such a way that your child doesn't throw tantrums to get what they want 😋

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